Girls, find your STANDARDS.

For the single, and not-so-single ladies…

Inspiration for the following message was developed by the book He’s Just Not That Into You. Anyone read it? If no, put it on your to-do list. Or at least see the movie (which is great, don’t get me wrong), but you will be doing yourself a disservice, because the book is really insightful.

Too many girls fall into the trap of waiting to be “chosen”. I believe that this expresses women’s unconscious belief that they are not capable of being the chooser, and instead settle for being chosen. (C’mon, ladies, it’s the 21st century for sobbing out loud!) While this may work in favor of some women, others are stuck in a sorry game called DESPERATION. These are the girls who take who they can get, whether the deal is sweet or not. Regardless of which class of estrogen-carrying female you fall into (which, by the way, is no excuse for neurotic behavior), I think there is something to be learned from this simple list of standards girls should have for dating guys… the list is from the end of the book.

1. I will not go out with a man who hasn’t asked me out first. 

2. I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone. 

3. I will not date a man who isn’t sure he wants to date me. 

4. I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable. 

5. I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesireable. 

6. I will not be with a man who’s afraid to talk about our future. 

7. I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me. 

8. I will not date a man who is married. 

9. I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person. 

Standards 1, 3, & 7 struck a chord with me, because they show how women CHASE men like they’re sprinting in the Sadie Hawkins marathon. You are belittling yourselves when you take yourself to this level. MEN KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE. We all know the girl like this… heck, sometimes we ARE the girl like this. Which leads me to my next list, also from the book/movie. It’s the “He’s Just Not That Into You If…” list. (Mind you, I have not included every title due to content)

1. He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Asking You Out

2. He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Calling You

3. He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Dating You

4. He’s Just Not That Into You If He Is Having Sex With Someone Else

5. He’s Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants To See You When He’s Drunk

6. He’s Just Not That Into You If He Doesn’t Want To Marry You

7. He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Breaking Up With You

8. He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Disappeared On You

9. He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Married (And Other Insane Variations Of Being Unavailable)

10. He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s A Selfish Jerk, A Bully, Or Really Big Freak

I love the first rule, because in the movie Gigi’s friend tells her “if a guy WANTS to see you, he WILL”. If these lists are too much for you to handle, or you’re simply questioning the logic behind these nuggets of advice, I think I can narrow them down to a single quote which should be every girl’s golden rule:

“Never make someone your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

Hallelujah, Amen & ‘nough said.